In Between Two Dreams

When I left my old school on Friday, I felt lost. Honestly, a little discarded - though so many people have reminded me how valued I was there.  The last month, the staff had weary eyes filled with excitement. Ready for a rejuvenating break, but also already looking ahead to the possibilities of the next school year.  This is what teachers do. We are constantly looking for the next chance to be better, make a difference, and encourage learning. But this year, that excitement didn't include me. I wasn't sure how to feel when I left. But because of the work I've been doing through coaching, I am able to just recognize that it's ok to feel confused or different than expected. 

I wasn't really surprised, however, at how I felt leaving the space.  I would guess it's what a lot of people feel after leaving a home they have lived in for 10 years. I completely redesigned the space in the last 10 years.  Anytime I thought about leaving, I always said "I don't want to leave my library. I built it. I'm not ready to go."

My first year, I made decorations for above the shelves.  It was before the murals, before I got rid of empty shelves to create all of the open space, when the walls were cream and beige. I do not claim to be an artist, so my first decorations were people with rectangle and triangle bodies, faces with hand drawn smiles, and little cloud bubbles above their heads.  Each cloud had a different “profession” that they were dreaming of.  I wanted students to know that the library would open up their dreams to a world of possibilities within the pages of the books and the screens in front of them.

The decorations have changed, the students and staff have changed, But the feeling of emerging dreams has remained exactly the same. I have walked into this space everyday for 10 years thinking about how lucky I am that I still get to show kids and my coworkers just how big our dreams can be.

My very favorite part is the quote on the library doors. It’s from a book of poems and that is actually the inspiration behind the murals the decorate the walls as well. It’s simply called “Imagine a Day”

Imagine a day

when the world swings open

on silent hinges

and a place you’ve never seen before

welcomes you home.

Imagine today.

As I left, I was so grateful for that home, but also really sad. I took one last photo on my way out. 

Thankfully, I was able to visit my new school today. I had a couple of chairs to drop off that I didn't want to store over the summer.  My reading chair - which has been the glider in our nursery for the last 8 years - is now placed perfectly in between a wall of windows and the story rug.  It's going to be my new home away from home in just 3 short months. 

I was able to chat with my new mentor and our conversation made me feel so darn happy to bring my favorite songs, stories, and lessons to this new community. It's a really fun feeling to already be excited for fall and the summer has only just begun. So today - I thought of the poem again as I saw my reading chair in it's "spot." (REALLY wish I would have taken a photo of that!)

A new world has swung it's doors open for me and after a summer of relaxation, fun, productivity, reading, yoga, family, and helping others reach goals, too - This place will welcome me home. I can't wait to inspire my new community to dream bigger! 

(But I think I'll skip the triangle and rectangle people)